The Broke Agent’s Wackiest Stories – Entertainment from the Real Estate Pros

A real estate agent’s mission is to sell, sell, sell. Their goal is to get potential buyers into the house. But some houses, like the ones featured below, come with incredible obstacles.

When the potential buyers of homes near the farm drive by, hopefully, they’ll see this sign and get the message: Unless you are willing to put up with the unusual and often inconvenient aspects of having a farmer for a neighbor, look somewhere else.

After you submit the contract, you have the home inspected. Only a clever inspector would have the smarts not to assume that the vent covers were real. Now you start wondering what else is fake. And the deal is off.

Let’s face it, the seller (and the agent?) has to be desperate to pull off this sham. A magnetized image of modern appliances covers the old appliances and makes the kitchen look modern in the online pictures. The truth will come out, guys.

How does the agent explain this to the buyers? Is this called a “unique feature”? We think this is just poor planning and potentially dangerous. Those steps into the lower level don’t look safe, and we’d be afraid of that “doorway” falling on our heads. Move on, buyers.  

The owners punched a hole in a wall and stuck an old TV through it so that only the screen showed in the home. And then, they covered the back of the TV with plastic sheeting. There are countless ways this is just ridiculous.

In addition, the buyers know that their new neighbors will only put up with them if they behave properly. So what’s the likelihood that this sign stayed posted for long? Hopefully, it was up long enough for buyers to see, and for the message to get across to the current owner. 

If you are going to fake people out, you might want to take a lesson or two in enhancing images. This picture could have come out looking real with just a little help. Right now, it looks like something a pre-schooler did. 

Not only that, but this looks like a storm drain. Does that mean that water tends to pool near the front door? Couldn’t they have moved the drain somewhere else? Too many questions, so the deal’s off.

While placing a few plants here and there freshen up a house, this stager created a rainforest in the space. We don’t know about you, but it gives the home a creepy feel, as if some nature maniac lives there. 

Of course, when you’re a real estate agent trying to sell a house, you have to find something positive to say about a freaky bathroom. But buyers will be stunned when they see this, so the agent had better have a clever comeback at the ready.

The owners may plan to remove the wall at some point and make the stairway available. But if they are trying to sell this house, it was a poor decision to leave the mini-stairs. It’s ugly and so weird – they would have been wise to wall up the remaining part of the stairs. 

While this looks like a jail block, if you live in a very hot or frigid area of the world, you can socialize with neighbors any time, even have a block party. It may look weird, but it makes sense when you think about it.

Some mold problems, however, just can’t be downplayed. This one has gone so far that mushrooms are growing, and who knows how deep that mold is growing. The owner should have at least cut down the fungi. 

Here’s a bathroom that looks updated and has some kind of retro feel. We’re not sure what’s going on here. The counter looks new, and the paint looks fresh, but what exactly is that pod? Is it a space-age shower? Weird doesn’t always go well with home buyers.

First, the home is small and modest, so the expensive car in the driveway does not match the house or the neighborhood. Second, the Photoshop job is amateurish. Finally, the whole photo makes one wonder how honest the seller is. Pass!

One can only wonder what design flaw forced this creation. Was the floor on the other side of the door too high? Could they not just raise the doorway? How exactly does one navigate this door without stubbing a toe or tripping? Your choices are – call it unique and buy or call it dangerous and walk away.

It might be easier to walk up this pyramid of steps and climb in the window. We’re hoping the owners didn’t pay the bricklayer, but it makes you wonder. Did the owners see the job in progress? And they chose not to comment? People are weird.

It’s when you walk into the home that reality hits you. This home’s “balcony” looks more like an outlook for a prison guard. It can only fit one person! You have to have sympathy for the agent who had to make this weird balcony sound beautiful.

This misalignment may be repairable, but you certainly would want to complete the repair before bringing potential buyers to the house. In addition, this mistake reeks of the owners’ disinterest in impressing house hunters. 

While none of us look like a blue stick figure, the comic drawing and handwritten message are amusing and draw you in to find out what’s going on. When you see that magnificent backyard, you realize what a gorgeous view you would have. 

But it’s not just the mangled post that is troubling – the fan and the woodwork are filthy, and whatever is going on with the structure of this home is troubling.  Our advice?  Time to walk away.

You’d have to convince the house hunters that this is a cool feature, and they’ll love being able to bathe right in the carpeted living room. Just avoid the questions about moisture, wet carpet, and the debate about bathroom vs. living room.

The weirdness doesn’t end there. There is a shower right near the bidet, probably making those marble steps extremely slippery. Also, the bidet is squeezed into a corner, and heaven help the person trying to make that maneuver. It’s just so wrong.

It’s not a complicated fix, but until the repair, we’ll assume this will not be used as a guest bathroom. Unless one’s guests are very open-minded, that is. Or the guest is a toddler who needs assistance.

Now think about how you’d sit on this contraption. Side-saddle? And what about men – will the toilet roll flop down when they try to lift it? This should be on the replacement list for the buyers. It’s just too weird.

Still, as lovely as it looks, it’s still a garage. The owners did not remove the garage door or the garage door opener, so the mechanical equipment gives the space a temporary feel. Why not close in the garage door wall? And one more thing – doesn’t it get cold in there?

However, there has to be a better way of faking a bed than dragging crates and tons of empty beer and soda cans and covering them with a blanket. That was a lot of work!  And let’s hope the buyers don’t decide to plop down on the edge of that bed.